My husband and I have lived in New York for nearly 40 years and raised 4 children. My journey from Korea to France and to New York wasn’t always easy but filled with joy and laughter thanks to dear friends and family who shared our lives over good meals.
Whenever I run into someone I know unexpectedly, my greeting is always the same.
“Oh hi! It’s been a while! Have you eaten already?“
When we were younger, those greetings were as natural as asking, “how are you?” Having three square meals was a big deal back in those days.
My husband who left Korea in the early 70s still uses it as a greeting and asks everyone–especially if it is roughly around meal time.
“Did you eat?”
It might even be a bit odd to those who are not familiar with Korean customary greetings.
Most people say “it’s ok” or pretend that they are not hungry because they don’t want to impose.
Occasionally, there are those who are clueless and my husband insists on them joining us for a meal.
My husband has no doubt that I can whip up something.
It’s not a big deal if I was preparing a meal already. All I need to do is to add a portion to the table.
However, he sometimes asks when we just had a meal and I have nothing in the refrigerator.
For instance, when our super drops by to fix something, my husband asks him whether he ate already.
If I try to whisper that we don’t have much to feed him, he says, “Oh we have instant noodles right?”
“But he is from South America…” I’ll respond in Korean, concerned that he wouldn’t like instant noodles.
Luckily, Korean instant noodles have universal appeal and he seems pretty happy.
This is why I am afraid whenever my husband asks people whether they have eaten already.
Most people I know have misconceptions about hosting. They believe that those who host should have time to host and have a big enough place or are a good cook.
We started hosting as soon as we got married. I had zero experience in cooking and we were living in an old brownstone where we lived with our coats on in winter to save the fuel bill.
I barely remember what came out of my humble kitchen but we invited friends fearlessly.
We were so young and most of our friends were still in school. No one cared about the menu as long as they were not hungry and we still had fun just by hanging out together and a place to stay overnight.
Our annual gathering for my husband’s college buddies has been going strong for more than 40 years.
We have friends who have nicer houses and who are fantastic cooks but the gathering is still happening at our place.
Strange as it sounds, the more you host, the easier it gets.
Matter of fact, I am so used to hosting that I don’t get stressed out about hosting.
If you think about it, there’s no failing or succeeding in hosting.
If you invite someone with a genuine heart and try your best, people are just happy to be invited.
Therefore, the host mustn’t be stressed out to perform in my opinion.
Seeing your guests enjoying themselves makes all the labor you put in worthwhile.
I like to encourage those who always thought hosting is difficult.
“ Just invite and you will see the special joy of hosting after they leave…”
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