My husband and I sometimes wonder what would happen if my cousin, Suk Hyang unni, and my husband’s cousin, Hyo-soon unni, had dinner together at a restaurant. It would be a tough (and entertaining) match because they are both headstrong and always fight to pick up the tab.
My husband only has one brother; but he has six cousins who feel more like his sisters, since they all grew up together. The oldest of the six, Hyo-soon unni, liked me from the first moment we met, so I called her unni instead of hyungnim even after I got married. Hyo-soon unni loves to take care of others and won’t accept no for an answer. Before my husband and I even married, she would send me dried squid all the way to Paris, where I lived at the time. To this day, she likes to send me dried seaweed. I’ve told her many times it’s not necessary, but it’s no use fighting with her. She’ll send it anyway.
She insists on treating us to a meal out whenever we go to Korea, and if we try to stay behind to buy her coffee after, she gets upset at us for even attempting. My children call her “the aunt who buys everything” because she is quick to gift you whatever she notices you admiring at a store.
My cousin, Suk Hyang unni, isn’t much different. She always pays for meals, and one time, I was determined to beat her to it. Throughout dinner, I was strategizing how I could get to the cashier before her. Alas, she grabbed me from behind when I first got to the register, and I had to relent because we started to look like we were actually fighting!
I was finally able to pay for a bag she picked out when she visited New York, but she became so upset people probably thought we were arguing rather than giving each other gifts. It’s a combination of culture and her upbringing, I think. She is two years older than me, and her father is my mom’s older brother. Our family spent summer vacations in Busan, where her family lived at the time, and her mother used to bring all kinds of food to our hotel. Her parents were always generous, and she, of course, took after them.
Nowadays, almost no one invites you to their home for a home-cooked meal. But these two ladies are rare exceptions. They still invite people over, and when they do, you better go with an empty stomach because you will be overfed.
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